Single at Tilak Lane

A single independent women nearing 30 - well that's a nightmare for families in India. We were an extinct species till about two decades back but in today's India of aspirations and desires, our numbers have grown manifold. We are women who have shed years of our life trying to build our careers, deriving support from a society that values a financially independent woman. But then suddenly, the same set of people question our single hood and want us to get "settled" at any cost. Distant relatives feel that it's difficult to find a match for us because we are "overeducated" (if there were a word like that.).

Visit any nearby book shop and you will find loads and loads of self help books for all the single women out there recommending techniques to find that "right"guy. And to your amazement, you will find no such books for the happily unmarried available men. Is it so very important for women to find a partner but not so for men? Even women among us feel that way, and that is why these books are so much into circulation. How much ever strong we portray ourselves in our professional lives, when it comes to the question of marriage we feel helpless and cornered.

But is it so depressing to be single? Are we a group of miserable 30 somethings with nothing at all to look forward to? Well, I differ and in doing that I am seconded by 40 somethings who have already spent a decade into their marriages and envy us for our independence. I live an awesome life with another single friend, N ,  at a palatial apartment right in the center of Delhi - at Tilak Lane. Mornings start with a jog around India gate and on my way back I pick up vegetables and milk for breakfast. We cook together and have our cup of tea over tit bits of gossip. Dressing up for office has it's own charm - we mix and match and crack naughty jokes. After a mundane day at office, we make our weekend plans. It's either theater or an evening movie or a visit to some nice quiet place. We visit book fairs together, go for crazy shopping sprees. And to let our hearts out, we have our hideout place at Connaught place, where we shed tears over a cup of coffee. Yes we do have our sad moments but they are part of life and tying the knot does not mean eternal bliss right?

Yes I accept that I am apprehensive of the day when N gets married. Friends get distant and lose touch after marriage. Lazy, unplanned weekends - well that's a rarity with friends who have crossed over to the other side. You become reluctant to make late night panic calls considering that she may just ignore you. And that's all the more with women, who are expected to transform themselves for the sake of their married life. But, that fear is not reason enough to push myself into marrying the first guy that comes my way. I want to be confident of finding my happiness within and not be dependent upon others. I want to love myself and live a life that I will feel proud and happy of when I look back at all these years.

And I want to make it clear that I am not against the institution of marriage but I am against the concept of "marriageable age". In fact, I am proud to be part of an India where marriage is respected and safeguarded by families. Love doubles after marriage - you get two sets of parents, two sets of siblings, cousins and so on. Yes it is scary sometimes to realize that your in-laws may not be as accepting as your parents were but all is worth for the care that you get in return. I would want to get married of course, and I will when the right day comes but till then I am happy, content and totally awesome in my single life.