Unappreciated virtues

The subject of morality is a volatile and questionable topic in today's fast changing world. What we learnt as qualities worthy to be emulated as kids are no longer appreciated. In fact, some of these traits are considered a weakness of character. Many of us find it hard to reconcile what we have learnt so far and what we are pushed to become to appear suited to this world. Virtues like modesty have lost their charm and pretentiousness is admired. So, should we change for the world to take us seriously or should we still cling onto morals that we have vehemently believed in so far?

Indian value system has always laid great importance on modesty. I still remember my mother telling me that "A tree loaded with fruits will always stoop down and will never be uptight." So the more accolades you acquire in life, the more humble you should  become. But the world is not the same as it was a couple of decades ago. Aloofness and attitude is required for maintaining a certain degree of "respect". If you have a soft interior and have a natural affinity for accommodating, people have a tendency to take you for a ride. So, hard or easy, you learn over time that you have to become immodest to command respect and less accommodating to be obeyed.

Your job often defines how you are supposed to behave in the civilized world and this is especially true when you land up in a job that has a nuisance value associated with it. I have always been the square peg in a round hole and I didn't want this time to be any different. There were times when old acquaintances would stop by and tell me that I hadn't changed a bit and they could see my younger version in me. I always took pride in my humility and never questioned if it was in any way making me look less important. But just six months into this job, I have realized that arrogance to a limited extent is required. A stern face, preferably with a frown is taken more seriously than a smile. Just as justice is not done till it is shown to be done, power without the show is of no consequence.

I have had a nomadic childhood, changing schools, friends and places every couple of years. I was a "give-no-trouble" child always adjusting to changes without a fuss. Post-college started the P.G. days, with new flatmates and roommates every few years and as a rule, everyone wanted to stay with me. I have been known to be least intrusive at the same time being caring. I have a habit of reasoning and never raise my voice in unnecessary arguments. And this adjusting attitude has gone on for so long that I have nearly "lost" my temper. I can not even remember the last time I got angry. Temper is considered a vice but no temper at all - isn't that a bigger vice?

Simplicity had its admirers but no longer. A person who dresses and behaves in the most unpretentious way soon finds himself running out of life's opportunities. Their simplicity is considered as their weakness. Flamboyance even though lacking any substance is much regarded. For people to take note of you, you have to don the latest designer wear, flaunt an apple and put on display all the latest brands you can afford. Yes, sustaining this pretension requires a lot of work but at least you were noticed, what about those rest who could not even pass the first test?

The new India of opportunities is all about networking. The more talkative and manipulative you are, the higher up the ladder you climb. The character of Frank Underwood in House of cards, a popular sitcom is all about deceit and trickery. Reading people and using them to your advantage even at the cost of harming them is the key to surviving in this highly competitive world. Emotions never drive the winner, it's only logic and logic alone. In fact, an emotional person is branded as a fool. So, is there no place for a "good"heart in this opportunistic world?

There are no right answers when it comes to morality. Each and every one of us sets their own standards which themselves keep changing. It is true that virtues like modesty, kindness and simplicity have lost their sheen, but it is only these that will win you your true friends. A bipolar personality is what we all should cultivate. A little bit of arrogance, meanness and show-off will work wonders, so there is nothing wrong in imbibing these "vices". Choose your own tone of grey - that's for you to decide.